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One day there was a giraffe. He had a long neck and wanted to score some giraffe pussy. Unfortunately there were other, better looking giraffes out there. They picked on him because his neck was really long. The chick giraffes mostly joined in because the short necked giraffes were SOOOO cute!

One day a drought came along. All the grass died, but the tree had really long roots and it sucked up the water deep underground. All the giraffes were really hungry except for the long-necked giraffe, who decided to be a prick to the asshole giraffes that were mean to him and eat all the leaves himself.

"Come on, man! Share some of that good stuff, we're hungry down here!" said the short-necked giraffes.
"Fuck you, you guys were mean to me!" said the long necked giraffes.

The long necked giraffe continued to eat.

"Alright, we're sorry we picked on you before, can you help us out please?"
The short necked giraffes were apologizing, and the long-necked giraffe didn't care because they were mean.

Eventually one giraffe piped in and said"Fine dude, do whatever, see if I care... Come on guys, let's go find some grass... there's gotta be some somewhere..."

One of the female giraffes stuck around, though. She was a pretty little giraffe, with shiny and smooth brown spots and a really long tongue. This turned the long-necked giraffe on, and he put on his smooth moves.

"Sup?" said the long-necked giraffe.
"Hi, what's your name?" said the sexy she-giraffe.
"I dunno. I don't think our species has invented that concept."
"Haha, you're so funny. What are you doing?"
"Oh, I'm just EATING SOME LEAVES FROM THIS TREE!!!"
"Wow! That is soooo impressive! You mind sharing?"
"Uh, I dunno, I'm PRETTY hungry but I GUESS I could be arsed if you ask NICELY..."

So they shared the leaves, he would grab a leaf and give it to her and then would eat a leaf himself. The she-giraffe saw him as a good provider and saw that he was an honest giraffe, and the long-necked giraffe saw her as an object that he could smear his seed in, and they got along quite well.

At the end of the day they decided to have crazy giraffe sex. Afterwards, the long-necked giraffe sit up on the headboard of his bed and started to smoke a cigarette. The she-giraffe gave him a hug and started to cuddle. He had trust issues that developed after getting picked on a lot for being a long-necked giraffe, and decided to go for a walk. She didn't want him to leave. She wanted to cuddle. He wanted to be alone. His rebellious nature and her inability to control him made her love him all the more... She fantasized about their futures together, and the lives they could share. She imagined a family, and a bunch of kid-giraffes, and bringing him home to her parents.

He thought about how awesome that nookie he just scored was, and wondered if she was the clingy type.

When he came back, she whispered in his ear that she loved him... this kinda freaked him out.

"We just met!" said the long-necked giraffe.
"I know, but I just feel so strongly toward you! You are very important to me." She looked in his eyes with a longing sort of long, and his confusion made her feel pain.

"Listen, babe, I know that you are feeling especially drawn to me, and I understand how you feel, but I think that we shouldtake some time to ourselves so we can look at this rationally... Just give me some space, okay? Give me some space and time and we'll see."

"Oh my god! You're breaking up with me!" She screamed and started freaking out, crying like a crazy person. This made him feel guilty.

"No no no! I'm just saying some time apart will be good for us!" He then started to wonder if it was possible to break up with a person you had only gotten together with once.

"Oh my god! Let me calm down...."

"Okay, cool, just calm down, okay?"

The she-giraffe sniffled. "If you want time alone, that's fine. I can do that. I'm a big giraffette. I will be fine."

"You'll be fine! Just fine!"

A few days passed, and the long-necked giraffe discovered that all the short-necked giraffes had died. Some had died of starvation, others had been eaten by alligators because all the grass was by a water-hole that was filled with all sorts of nasties.

"Oh well!" the long necked giraffe thought.

After a while though, he began to become lonesome and tried calling the she-giraffe.

"Hello, this is Long-Necked Giraffe, is She-Giraffe there?"
"Oh my god! This is She-Giraffe! How are you!? I haven't seen you in like, forever!!"

And they arranged to meet each other.

About a month later, She-Giraffe went to the long necked giraffe and said she needed to talk about something...

"Sure, what about? What's going on?" the long-necked giraffe inquired.

"Well, you know, about a week ago it was that time of the month, and uh... I waited for somet ime, but I think..."

"What do you think?"

"I think I might be... pregnant." The she-giraffe looked at him with fear.

The long-necked giraffe looked at her, and said, 'What, are you serious? Don't joke about that".

They talked it over and decided to keep the baby because abortions were not covered by their medical insurance and because she was scared of the moral implications of that decision.

The long-necked giraffe was trapped in a relationship in order to provide a positive role-model. After the child was born, the long-necked giraffe noticed that the baby giraffe had a long neck too, and told him the secret of using his long neck to score with random chicks. He warned him though, always wear protection, because otherwise you might be in a world of shit. The baby giraffe grew up to be a playa, and never used protection, opting instead to skip town every time one of his girlfriends got knocked up, and eventually, most of the giraffes in the world were long necked.

The end.


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